I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
