Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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