I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
