Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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