Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
