i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
