1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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