she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
