If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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