I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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