The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
