Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
