Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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