I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
