He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
whose parrot is this?
Randomize