I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
