the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
