You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize