Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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