so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
