you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
