On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
