Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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