Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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