Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
