we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
