so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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