My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
