I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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