she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
