Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
