Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize