no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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