I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is wine microwaveable?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
