never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
