just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She told me I should be a condom model.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
