Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
