Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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