It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
