we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
