You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
