I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize