Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
