So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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