I heard we made out
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
