I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
