You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
