she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
