We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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