i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
