I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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