He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
