I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
