so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize