He is an equal opportunity slut.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
