Already got asked if we're dating
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
