Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
