i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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