"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize