Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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