I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize