chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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