Ambien. No doubt about it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
