dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
