It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
